Claiming they always knew Amy was a smoker, but had no idea whatsoever that she was hooked on cocaine, heroin, pain killers, and other drugs. It’s also been reported that a close friend of Amy’s actually witnessed her informing her parents on several occasions that she had an addiction. The same source also reported that Amy had actually pulled out a joint and smoked it in front of her mom, at a family wedding. The next day, she offered her father a hit from her crack pipe, to which he declined!
Amy has been quoted as saying; “I am sad to hear of the news that my parents did not know I was a junkie. I tried my best as a daughter to do the drugs right in front of them, but they still wanted to deny my problem. I mean, how fu**in stupid are these people.”
Now, forgive me if you will, but it sounds as if her parents not only knew, but they also ignored the problem! It is quite apparent that a lack of parenting is at hand, and I can only speculate that there may be a whole entourage of dysfunctional behavior involved!
I am not at all surprised that Amy has fallen prey to addiction since the emotional pain caused by family dysfunction is at the root of addictive behavior.
Are you suffering from addiction?
When you were a child, did your parents verbally abuse you? Were you physically or sexually abused? Did one or both of your parents suffer from alcoholism or drug abuse? Did your parents control or manipulate you? Did your parents show up part-time for a job that required full time parenting? Like most, you may not realize how much these family dysfunctions have destroyed your self-esteem or why they are the root cause of your addiction! You see, there are many types of addictions, and they all have the same common denominator’ family dysfunction!
Addictive behavior is a symptom of the emotional trauma caused by family dysfunction. Therefore, when you fix the root of the problem habitual behavior becomes repulsive. Instead, the mainstream philosophy has followed a pattern of bombarding the public with multiple theories and confusing psychobabble, neither of which address liberation from family dysfunction nor restoring self-esteem. These treatments not only fail to preserve anonymity, but they also fail in excess of ninety percent of the time!
The following is a brief outline of the 5 steps to addiction freedom. Prior to following these steps or any addiction recovery program, take the necessary time to ascertain whether you require the additional support of an addiction counselor or medical attention regarding withdrawal.
1. Step One: Unearth the Square Root
Family dysfunction is the common denominator, or square root of all addictive behavior, and until it is brought to the forefront and confronted nothing will change! This is by far the most important and critical step of the entire process. There are two parts to step one, and they are as follows:
A. Uncovering your family dysfunction
Physical abuse Sexual abuse Verbal abuse Alcoholic parent Controlling parent Inadequate parenting
B. Confront the parent or parents responsible for the dysfunction
The thought of confronting the person that is responsible for your emotional trauma is one the most frightening situations you will face. However, it is also the most liberating and empowering thing you’ll ever do! Why do you need to confront your parent or parents? Well, first let me clarify the meaning of the word confront and in what context we are using this term. Confronting the person does not at all mean that you should verbally attack them for your misfortunes. On the contrary, you are not doing this for them. You are doing it for you! The confrontation is not meant to be an attack, but it is rather a chance for you to set the record straight and drop the emotional baggage that you’ve been toting around.
2. Step Two: Remove your Emotional Baggage
You have completed step one and have confronted your parent or parents. This in and of itself will have removed much of the pain and emotional trauma. However, to fully free yourself from their emotional stronghold, it will be necessary to find forgiveness in your heart for a family member that has committed an atrocity against you. Forgive! How can I forgive someone that committed these atrocities against me? Many people have a misconception about forgiveness. Forgiveness is not reconciliation! There is a drastic difference between the two. Reconciliation would mean that you have accepted and submit to their behavior and have agreed to try and continue the relationship under those circumstances. Forgiveness means that you merely give up or cease the resentment of the offender.
Step Three: Cure Wounditis
Without question, partaking in habitual behavior not only causes you pain but, it inflicts pain on the people around you as well. However, do not allow what you have done in the past or what others have done to you, to cause you to live in fear of what the future holds. The past is the past, it is over, and living in it does not serve anyone well. Live in the present moment, be kind to yourself, and learn to love yourself. How can you love someone else if you don’t love yourself? The answer is you can’t!!! It isn’t a big secret that you’re feeling shame and guilt for what you’ve done. In fact, you’re probably questioning right now as to whether you should be punished for your past actions. Well guess what, its ok! God doesn’t punish people, we punish ourselves. God is a loving and forgiving being. So if you thought that you would continue to punish yourself with shame and guilt before God gets a hold of you, you can stop right now! We do not have defects of character, are not full of shortcomings, and we certainly are not powerless! On the Contrary, we are all the same, we are all connected, and we all have the same power to change!
Step Four: Awaken the Power within
Whether you want to admit it or not, all of the pain you have been through concerning your habitual behavior is a spiritual lesson. And until you view it as such, it will continue to cause you suffering and unhappiness. Every dark cloud does have a silver lining, and if you look hard enough you’ll find one in this habitual situation too. However, to find that silver lining you must ask the right questions;
1. What can I learn from my addiction?
2. How can I grow from it?
The answers to these questions can be found in a place that is uncharted by most, and it is just waiting to be explored! It’s called your true self! To embark on a journey of Self -reflection requires the practice of Mediation.
For more information on mediation you can visit my website below.
Step five: Practice Acts of Random Kindness
Happiness is a state of mind. Individuals that are suffering from addictive behavior are not happy! Ironically, in an attempt to find happiness, they chose a vehicle to mask their emotional pain through the use of alcohol, illicit drugs, and various other compulsions. However, happiness is never found on the outside in material possessions or in the abuse of substances and compulsions! True life happiness can only be found in one place, and that place is within! Happiness is not found in the practice of outward ideals or in other people. To the contrary, it is actually the small acts of random kindness that opens the heart and fuels the principle of unconditional love!
Finally, good luck in your quest for addiction freedom. Visit my website below to subscribe to my Free E-guide;
The Addiction Freedom Coach